Eric and I are... okay at this point.. things are kind of rocky... I still don't have my touch and I miss how he would always just lay next to me and hold me.. we never have that anymore and it is depressing... I love him a lot. Everyone thinks were engaged.. haha thats funny. Well we practically are.. so it doesn't matter anyway.

Hm... I swear I can get pissed about the stupidest and littlest things.. but I still love him more and more... his smile brings a smile to my face.. and when I am mad and try to stay mad all he has to do is smile and make a little giggle and hes got me.. ugh.. I love him so much! I just wish that I could stay in one moment with him forever.. I wish he'd lighten up though and let me take pictures of him.. god he is so irresistable.. I love you Eric William! you mean the world to me and I mean that.

I hope tonight we can have the chance to lay and cuddle like we did in the beginning and just enjoy one another's company... It would mean a lot... maybe play with my hair and take some pictures... ha well.. we will see...

I love you Eric William Holloway...

I love you more today than yesterday but less than tomorrow!

I think I am right.. for once...I have lost my touch.. my spark.. I would do anything just to have him touch me the way he did from the begininng... I don't understand.. why should I feel this way... I'm not jealous... I'm not worried... I just I feel that he doesn't love me the same doesn't see me as he would say the sexy girl he met.. did I do something wrong? Is this all my fault? am I not good.. our intimate life is gone.. theres no more watching movies and fooling around or parking the car to have some fun.. it's gone... I must've done something to make him feel this way. I know I am not the hottest looking thing.. but as of right now I am what he gots... and I'm not going anywhere. I love him I truely do... If only I knew why he doesn't kiss me as often as he used to put his hand on my leg.. or even go up in his room and come from the bottom of the bed up under the covers and kiss me and do what he used to. I miss it all... If I could change one thing it would be my looks... maybe he would want me then. Damn I sound desperate.. but it's how I feel and what I want to let out but I feel the only way I can do this is through writing.. or typing in this case.. all I want is for Eric to know that I love him and care about him deeply and I never want that to change. I want him to know I will always be here and I will always try and make things better.. but at this point I just want to know... Do you love me still?! Am I the one for you? cause I still love you and I will always love you and your the one for me and that will never change.... I LOVE YOU ERIC WILLIAM HOLLOWAY!

Love always,  your Sweetcheeks

hmm my thinking has over come me I have decided that. I love Eric so much but its so hard to think that he loves me back.. when I feel unattractive and shit I bet a million dollars that I could stand naked in front of him and he would rather watch TV or something UGH! I mean yes men are catagorized as perverts.. but Women need sex and have their fun too! It's been almost two freakin' months! I don't know it may just be me... but everytime I hint it or something he won't want to come near me! Oh and the other thing that bugs the shit out of me.. is how his friends or brother, anyone in general can make fun of me and its ok.. but the second anyone makes fun of him I have to be there to stand up for him.. thats so fricked up! ugh I wish he would just love me like he used to and make love to me like he used to.. not everyday like we used to but occasionaly... am I really that ugly? do I suck at it? I don't nkow I just wish I had some answers and I wish he would explain to me whats wrong and shit. this is going to bother me...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MORE ERIC WILLIAM HOLLOWAY!